When I first considered starting a blog and self-help platform, I knew that I would need to use social media for promotion. Unfortunately, with posting on social media comes the discomfort of knowing that your ideas and efforts are in full view of the skeptical public eye. So, when I started Unleashing Savage, I was ready for not only the inevitable unsolicited opinions of the ideas that I put out there, but also ad-hominin attacks from complete strangers as well.
It did not take long for my suspicions to be confirmed. With any post, blog, or unconventional idea I put out there, there has been an endless supply of trolls and critics who chime in with their two cents. I typically pay these people no mind for a host of reasons, but in the rare occasion that I do a bit of probing to understand who these people are, I am almost always disappointed to see that it is an anonymous person with no profile photo, who seemingly has nothing going for himself and resorts to online trolling as a form of entertainment.
This article is not about social media trolls. Unless you run an online business that requires mass social media engagement, you probably are not concerned about such things. However, I do believe my experience is analogous to life in general. That is, whatever efforts you embark on in life, there are sure to be critics who offer their unsolicited opinions of you whether they are qualified to provide their opinions or not.
No matter who you are, I believe that if you are human and you have a consciousness, then the criticism from others can sow at least some degree of doubt and uncertainty into your thought processes. Unless you are well trained in ignoring the haters, your confidence and your actions can become clouded by people who inject their unflattering opinions of you and what you are doing. And for some of you, the mere thought of being on the receiving end of such criticism is enough to prevent you from moving forward with your ambitions in the first place.
I know this because I’ve had far too many conversations with people who tell me that they would like to start a podcast but are afraid of putting themselves out there for other people’s judgement, or people who want to pursue a non-traditional career but are concerned about what others in their peer group will think. Others have wanted to share their fitness or mindfulness journeys but pause at the idea of opening themselves up to the brutalities of the internet. Some others have expressed concern about how people would perceive them if they moved forward with a bold plan only to be unsuccessful.
I’ve also had many a conversation with people who are in the midst of their journeys and have been knocked off center by unwarranted opinions and judgements from others. Despite them doing their best to live their purpose and put positive energy into the world, the critics are sure to go out of their way to disrupt this energy rather than finding their own way to contribute.
So I’m here to offer you some encouragement – the same encouragement I give myself whenever I feel tempted to succumb to the opinions of others or my own fear of how others would judge me for trying something different or not achieving success.
Although it is natural to feel anger, or resentment, or fear, or doubt... you really should feel sorry for those who attempt to bring such bad energy into your life. I say this because choosing to derail someone else's efforts to level up is, in my opinion, a sign of a miserable life in which a person has nothing better to do with their time and energy.
The contrast between putting yourself out there to live your truth by becoming better in some arena of life, and the critical observers who have yet to find their own path could not be more stark.
I'll turn to the late great (or not so great) President Theodore Roosevelt who put things in vivid perspective. I realize that he was a controversial figure. I’m not here to dispute that. However, I will say that he is the author of one of the most eloquent texts I’ve ever read in terms of how to feel about criticisms from haters. If you don’t know already, I’m referring to his “Man In the Arena” speech.
Roosevelt’s words in this context amount to nothing short of a masterpiece.
To sum it up simply the excerpt explains how there are only a small few people who are in the game, busy fighting and giving their all to put points on the board while the masses of spectators sit on the sidelines heckling and criticizing. Roosevelt goes on to explain how the few who experience both the ups and downs of their endeavors will experience both joy and sadness. He implies that putting oneself out there, taking risks, and experiencing both the good and bad that come with said risk brings vitality to one’s life, which is a far more noble pursuit that sitting on the sidelines in comfort and never knowing what it is to succeed or fail.
“It is not the critic who counts … The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming… who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I find these words to be so motivating that I framed them and hung it up on my wall so that whenever someone who’s sitting on the sidelines in their comfort zone, someone who hasn’t earned the right to be critical, has something to say to me, I can remind myself that I’m the one who is actually in the arena, I’m in the game, I’m in the trenches doing the work.
To draw on a more contemporary interpretation of Roosevelt’s words, I’ll turn to a quote by Chris Brown:
“I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club”
If you are an entrepreneur working on a new idea. If you take an uncharted path in life. If you are sharing your fitness or mindset transformation journey. If you put your finances or your reputation on the line all in the name of exploration and the possibility for learning, discovery, and self-improvement... then you are liable to be on the receiving end of criticism. Some will make it outwardly known, but most will do it without your knowledge. In either case you stand to benefit greatly by channeling the negativity that others bring into your space, and using it as a stark reminder that you are in the arena while they are not.
This is a reason to celebrate yourself, and pity your haters.
When you’re in the game, putting points on the board, there will always be people on the sidelines to heckle, deride, and criticize.. but the people on the sidelines are just that, on the sidelines. They’re not in the game. They’re not in a position to effect change. They are NPC’s (non-playable characters) who are merely filling a background role in the plot for your life’s story. The more haters (or villains) there are in your story, the more epic your hero story becomes.
An active participant in any game is liable to experience the agony of defeat just as much as he is liable to experience the joy of victory. But what is most important is that he is in the game, and with this comes skill development, character development, fulfillment, purpose, etc.
I truly believe that a life of exploration, of taking risks, of stumbling sometimes, of succeeding other times, is a virtuous life. It requires courage, strength, and fortitude to take chances on bold and transformational endeavors. But along the way there is growth.
On the other hand, a life of sitting on the sidelines and offering up criticisms and judgements of those who are putting forth effort and taking risks is a cowardly life. There is no honor in residing in stagnation and comfort while also casting judgements on people who are actively driving their lives forward into uncharted frontiers.
So if you ever run into individuals who decide to hate on your efforts to level up, then remind yourself that you are the one who is in the arena and they are not. And furthermore, remind yourself that while you are channeling your time and energy into self-betterment, they are focusing their time and energy one tearing another person down.
From my perspective that is a sad existence which causes me to feel pity towards my critics and haters more than any feelings of resentment or anger.